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| Three generations of Exonians: Constance and Bruce Hallett '40, Cleary Hallett '02 and Bruce Hallett '67. |
There are a few lessons you might take away from Exeter that will help you meet this challenge. The first is the power of the way you have learned here, the power of dialogue and discussion.
All of you have stories to tell of the Harkness warriors you have known around our tables. But all of you know-even the most aggressive Harkness warriors among you-that the success of that form of learning comes not from besting the others around the table, but from cooperatively solving a problem or adding to understanding.
As I look at the post-September 11 world I see a world in desperate need of dialogue and of individuals whose first impulse is to talk through a problem rather than fight over it. When the opposing forces are as intractable as those we have seen in the past year, it requires optimism to believe that dialogue, just as you have learned to do it at the Harkness table, can bring peace. But in fact, there is nothing else that will result in peace. It is a sad aspect of human history that we have so often turned to diplomacy after violence has escalated. You will find yourselves well-equipped to be Harkness peacemakers rather than Harkness warriors.
 | | Tai Kobayashi and Karl Cesar pose for Sam Cecil. |
The news media acknowledged in their programming after September 11 how little the United States was aware as a nation of the culture, religion, economics and politics of central Asia and the Mideast. On one level this can be quickly remedied by brushing up on geography and geopolitics. But comprehending September 11 requires a deeper understanding of human beings than textbooks can provide.
That deeper understanding comes from a true appreciation of and comfort with the ways in which people can be different from one another and yet build a community strengthened by their differences. If there were ever a challenge to daunt a generation, the challenge of building international community in the wake of September 11 is the greatest faced by any generation since World War II.
Members of the class of 2002 have a head start in meeting that challenge, because you have become comfortable with such diversity at Exeter. In coming to know a roommate from half a world away, in conversations over meals and in the dorms, in sports and clubs, and always around the Harkness table, you have been exposed to points of view much more diverse than most American high school students ever face.
Sometimes these have been testing conversations. I remember a moment last fall when there were hard feelings for a time about the degree to which the display of the American flag in support of the victims of September 11 was inclusive or exclusive of those who were not American citizens. You found common ground in that instance, and whenever we find common ground in these difficult moments we build friends, create allies and lessen the chance of violence. In a small way, giving up the privacy of home and entering into a diverse community such as Exeter has forced you to find common ground much more frequently than have your peers, and your understanding of how to perform the difficult act of trusting others who are different is a skill your generation needs.
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Minjeong Grace Sur
Communication Is Key
Grace Sur, an 18 year old from Seoul, South Korea, says there is much she will remember about her four years at the Academy-including her sometimes-bumpy prep year. But what made her decide to stick it out ("besides my parents forcing me to") were, she says, some words of reassurance offered by an older friend who had faced similar challenges: "She gave me the faith that Exeter was worth the struggle, and that the rewards would come sooner or later." And come they did: Grace developed a strong interest in political science and international relations; became a dorm proctor and a Student Listener; played varsity squash and tennis and first flute in the both the symphony and chamber orchestras. She also headed up several clubs, including the Korea Society, which led her to co-found a novel "Big Sibling" program that pairs Asian PEA students with adopted Asian children in the Exeter area (photo). Grace will attend Brown University.
What personal lessons have you learned, in class and out?
Through the Harkness system, I have learned that communication is key. Last fall, I had a conversation with an alumnus during Alumni/ae Council Weekend, and he told me the reason the world has so many problems and countries do not get along is because cultural differences make communication extremely difficult-thus, misunderstandings and rifts are inevitable.
This can be true in our classrooms as well. Every day, we hold discussions and interact with our peers, but sometimes students do not want to listen or compromise their ideas. So the way one goes about communicating affects many aspects of Exeter life. In some sports, competition against one's teammates may be necessary (as it is in squash and tennis), and morale suffers. But these experiences taught me to overcome my own desire to succeed at all costs, and to truly enjoy what I was doing and share this with others. Even when one teammate was particularly unyielding, I learned to deal with that sort of difficulty instead of getting worked up.
Looking back over your time at the Academy, what experiences do you remember most, and why?
Exeter has been my home for four years, and I do not want to forget that feeling of relief that fills my chest when I turn onto Front Street in the Hampton Shuttle van after a long, draining flight. I do not want to forget jumping off the bridge on a sultry spring day, dorm night at Margarita's, running out onto the Andover field when we won Exeter/Andover, or Turning Circles and my first semiformal during the fall of my prep year. I do not want to forget all the work put into writing my 333 and being satisfied with what I had to say. I do not want to forget reluctantly taking that required art course and creating things I never knew my imagination could render, or putting hours into my senior meditation and discovering a part of myself that I never knew before. I do not want to forget my first day of Exeter, having believed that I would hate it here, but actually having loved it ever since.
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