Exeter Bulletin Winter 2003 Finis Origine Pendet

"There is a greater appreciation and respect today for the private life well lived, for the day-to-day achievements and struggles of ordinary men and women. There is a new respect for the heroic qualities of private people-not political leaders, not movie stars, not business tycoons, not rock idols-going through their normal days, living their normal lives, engaged in their normal activities."

The man who uttered these words, attorney Gregory B. Craig '63, has known his share of public figures. Over the course of his distinguished career, his clients have included President Bill Clinton and the father of Elian Gonzalez. But when Craig spoke on November 6 at the Academy's annual New England Alumni/ae Dinner in Boston, it was of the media's new interest in the lives of everyday people. He pointed to The New York Times' "Portraits of Grief," that extended and eloquent series of profiles of the men and women who died in the terrorist attacks of September 11. He also made note of the press attention given the lives of those killed by snipers in the Washington, D.C. area this fall.

Memorial Minutes, a just-published collection of tributes to 97 members of the Exeter faculty, speaks eloquently of private lives well lived and their lasting impact on the Academy, including Richard Niebling (1916-1992, top) and John Mayher (1902-1979, bottom).

The sheer number of these losses and the shocking nature of these deaths stunned the world and brought individual private lives into focus. Few of these people were "boldface names," but as the articles in the Times and elsewhere revealed, their lives were rich and their contributions many. Most of the victims had families, jobs, hobbies, quirks, causes they championed, challenges they faced. The majority paid their bills, lived quietly and made the lives of those around them a bit brighter. Each of these private lives is not only mourned, but also remembered and celebrated by a circle of family and friends.

As I consider the Memorial Minutes book featured in this issue (beginning on page 16), I reflect on the private lives well lived of the 97 faculty members commemorated in that volume. These men and women also lived unpretentiously, but their quiet contributions, spanning more than a century, were profoundly significant to the lives and minds entrusted to their care, to their colleagues and to future generations of young people.

The first memorial minute in the book is devoted to George B. Rogers (1868-1936). Rogers came to the Academy in 1895, and with John C. Kirtland, wrote a Latin text that is still in use today (see story, page 6). Principal Lewis Perry, who read Rogers' eulogy at a faculty meeting in 1936, saw an even greater legacy for Rogers: "A sense of values, reverence, high seriousness, open-mindedness are qualities that will not perish with the man. We can believe that they live, and will live, in the spirit of the school."

Reading these minutes I am struck by how many of these teachers have left legacies that "live in the spirit of the school." Their names invoke the traditions and values that are part of the fabric of this institution. These faculty members are spoken of with reverence, even awe, by colleagues and former students. Yet their lives, for the most part, were lived out privately here on this campus with their students, their families and their colleagues.

In 1992, it was Richard Niebling (1916-1992) who was remembered. It had been 18 years since Niebling had retired from more than three decades as a member of the English department. His memorial minute outlined a life and a career of devotion to his vocation, his school, his family and his community. It ended with these words: "So, as a teacher, citizen, and husband and father he has enriched our community. And his influence remains all around us-in what we read in the English department; in conservation laws and buildings and green spaces in town; and in the vital presence of his extended family."

None of the men and women memorialized were perfect; many had their personal quirks. History professor John Mayher (1902-1979) was so meticulous that he "donned rubber gloves to fill his fountain pen" and sent his socks out to be pressed. But Mayher's memorial also established him as a man who accepted "change, sometimes with grace, often with wit, usually with enthusiasm," and he helped steer Exeter through four decades of change, in the classroom and out.

At a time when the public spotlight shines on figures who have bilked their colleagues and stockholders, on those who have plotted to take the lives of innocents or committed other acts of infamy, it is heartening to reflect on those who have set the standard for today's teachers and students here at Exeter, and to know that "they live, and will live, in the spirit of the school."