One hundred and fifty years after the Academy laid the foundation for its first dormitory, life in the dorm is many things to many people-a second classroom, a second family, a refuge, home.
As Exeter works to ensure that the residential experience it offers is the equal of the classroom experience, students, faculty and staff present a portrait of dorm
living now. Tales Ask Dan Morrissey, athletic trainer and longtime dorm head, for his favorite dorm story, and he shakes his head. "Every night's a story," he says with a laugh. But one of Morrissey's favorites is about the night of former Principal Kendra Stearns O'Donnell's retirement ball. A prep knocked at Morrissey's apartment door, looking for assistance tying his bowtie. Morrissey couldn't help, but his wife, Erin, could, if the boy would kneel so she could reach him. Morrissey left to check on the dorm, only to return and find a row of 10 formally attired preps kneeling on his living room floor, and his wife patiently tying bowties to a chorus of "Thank you, Mrs. Morrissey. Thank you, Mrs. Morrissey." When it comes to talking about residential life at the Academy, everybody has a story to tell. Some of those stories reflect the rhythms of community living: Bonding over tooth brushing first thing in the morning, or cramming onto beat-up sofas to talk into the night. Sharing with people who are your friends, and with those who aren't. Discussing the finer points of Moby Dick from the shallows of an inflatable wading pool on the dorm "beach." Laughing at the universal condition of having too much homework and not enough sleep. Relishing having a close friend in the room or just down the hall. Others speak to more significant moments in people's lives. Maggie Suydam '04 experienced just such a moment one night last year, when it became clear that one of her Hoyt Hall dorm mates was extremely upset, but no one knew why. Says Suydam: "My roommate went around the dorm asking each of us to write on a note card what we loved about this distraught individual. Then she gathered up all of her spare change and pretty much bought out the vending machine downstairs. She spent the next hour taping candy and snacks to each card and hiding them around this girl's room. When the girl returned, she got to read all 20-plus cards from different people in the dorm, each of which made her laugh or smile. I'll always admire my roommate for taking that initiative. Her truly selfless act brought our dorm together in a way I hadn't ever felt before." Stories like these illustrate the texture and the richness of dorm life at Exeter today. And Exeter is paying closer attention than ever to the dorms, reaffirming its commitment to residential life as something to be deliberately shaped and tended by the community, rather than left to chance. Says Dean of Residential Life Russell Weatherspoon, "Families sending their children to Exeter recognize that what we can do academically is high caliber. But they also want to know, 'What can Exeter do for my child on the human level?' " For one, Exeter can create dormitory environments that foster meaningful interactions between individuals. Says Victoria Wild '04, "I think that living in a dorm [the way you do] during your high school years is something you will never experience again-not even in a college dorm. We're at the age when we still need a type of home, and the dorm really does become your home." What might such a home feel like? Lars Ojukwu '03, a senior in Wentworth, especially likes the feeling of coming back to the dorm and "knowing that no one is going to hassle you, no one is going to laugh at you or make you feel uncomfortable. In fact, quite the opposite-they're on your side." Doing the dorms right, says Weatherspoon, means that "every kid should be known." According to Dean of Students Ethan Shapiro, expanded residential life training and carefully planned dorm renovations- including the just- completed, top-to-bottom renovation of Amen Hall- are ways in which "the school has made real strides in making the standard of residential life equal to that of academic life." "Grab me some milk while you're in the kitchen, Savannah!" my adviser, Dan Morrissey, shouts from the living room.
"Sure," I say. "Does anyone else need anything?" I immediately regret asking as an onslaught of orders follows me into the kitchen. I pause in front of the refrigerator, studying the pictures tacked up on the door; two boys smile back at me from Santa's lap. Laughter floats into the kitchen from the living room. It is Thursday-and the season finale of "Friends" is on television. I struggle down the hallway, my arms filled with Oreos and several glasses of milk.
"I'm back. Will someone grab the cookies so I don't spill the milk?" I ask while navigating around several preps lying on the floor. "I'll take those," Dan insists, and giggles fill the room as he sets a towering stack of Oreos next to his seat. "What's everyone laughing at? I didn't eat much dinner," he explains with a smile. Securing his stash, Dan passes the cookies to the five girls wedged onto the couch. I pass out glasses of milk and then settle down on the big beanbag cushion with my math homework. Every Thursday, I attempt to finish some of my homework while watching television in my adviser's apartment. I have to admit, I end up having to stay up just a little bit later in order to finish my work for my five-class Friday-but you have to prioritize. Which is more important, lounging and laughing with a bunch of Bancroft girls or figuring out the angle measures of some acute triangle? "O.K., everyone be quiet-it's starting," demands one of the proctors. She is a regular at these weekly gatherings. Dan raises the volume, and everyone seems to hold their breath until the familiar theme song fills the silence. During the next commercial break, I manage to finish four math problems. (I think this is a personal best.) Most of the girls just gossip and giggle. Several uppers stop by to get some cookies before trudging back to their rooms to finish their 333's. Then the chatter dies down as "Friends" comes back on. A soft breeze glides in through the open windows, and I toss my math book aside. |
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